Day 9

"Your butt is like two fluffy, toasty hamburger buns."

Day 8

"I love your face here. You're just standing there in your bathing suit with this goofy "doy" face. And the boots... it's ridiculous. Hasn't anybody told you that goofy is the new sexy?"

Day 7

"You look like a giant cock."

Day 6

"Those boots from behind make you look like a Robin Hood. The black & white version, of course, because Robin Hood's boots are green... or brown."

Day 5

"That stuff you put on your face smells like peanut butter soup, Peanut Butter Soup Face."

Day 4

"I like when you wear big shirts and I can see the light hit you in a certain way... and I can tell you're actually skinny."

Day 3

"You look very R.E.I. today. In color... not in style."

Day 2

Comment 1: "You look so cute.... like an elf."

Later that evening: "The boots and pants make it look as if you're a character in a video game getting ready to go steal some jewels. But add the top part to it... and WOW!"

Day 1

"Your face smells like cake batter."